Friday, April 1, 2011

My Pigeon Theory

As many of you know, I hate pigeons. They frighten me and I believe that the whole of pigeon society is plotting my demise. (Not really but my god, look into the eyes of a pigeon and tell me, honestly, that there is not something sinister and diabolical going on in that peanut sized brain). However, lately I think the universe has been trying to tell me something about the value of pigeon life.

On my way from Belgrade to Mitrovica I was listening to a podcast by Radiolab NYC and, to my amazement, they were doing a segment on being lost. Something I'm a natural at (*had a fun adventure today actually so just you wait for that exciting post). I believe somewhere in the middle of this segment they started discussing pigeons. Well, crap. Of course. The story focused on how pigeons are never lost. They always find home. There were plenty of theories discussed as to how and why the pigeons find home: magnets in their beaks, smell, wind patterns... their pigeon soul-mate (which seemed a little silly but I s'pose, even for people, love can be a pretty strong motivation... and if not love, at least the promise of sex. They do it all for the nookie, am I right?). But the point was the pigeons never got lost  (except for in this one place in New Jersey that seems to be the pigeon black hole (aka my paradise) but... well, I'll leave that one alone for the moment) and some pigeons were even decorated war heroes because of all the lives their messages saved. Yeah, hooray for pigeons.

Then, as I was looking for English speaking channels on the television at my hostel in ... I forget where, probably Budva, the Discovery Channel also had a show that covered the lives of the pigeon spies and were once again talking about how they never get lost.

Dear Universe,
I get it. Pigeons. Don't hate on them. You can stop now.

So this made me think: what is it about pigeons that repels me so? And why are they so good at finding their way when I could (and have) find myself lost in a grocery store (yes, as an adult as well as when I was a child)?

And this is where my thought process went:
What makes something a nemesis? Usually they are the person (or animal... or object) that is constantly working against you. You are the north end of the magnet, they are the south. You're connected somehow and yet you repel one another completely.

And that, my friends, is my theory on my fear of pigeons. They are, in short, my true nemesis. My opposite. The evil Yin to my good Yang, or whatever.

Now please, enjoy this video I made:

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